It’s come around too quickly…

How did this happen? It’s snuck up on me and I’m not sure how I haven’t noticed. And I’m absolutely not ready for it! I’m back at work tomorrow! TOMORROW! I could have sworn that I had at least another month or so! I can’t believe it. Is it too late for me to change my mind, and stay at home with my little boy forever?!?!

Actually, maybe not! I don’t know if he could pick up on my feelings about tomorrow, or whether it was just a fluke, but the boy was a pain today! He wanted to play with every wire/glass/computer/hot drink he could find, he bit me on numerous occasions and he was a nightmare to go down for his naps and this evening. Maybe going back to work won’t be so bad after all. Let someone else deal with the moody baby, hopefully I’ll just some lovely smiles and big cuddles when I pick him up!

I know this is a bit random, and probably makes very little sense, but it’s what is going on in my head.

Wish me luck for tomorrow. May not have time to post anything tomorrow, but will try ASAP.

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Too young to share?

Yesterday we went to (one of my) brother’s 30th birthday party. It was down in Esher – Surrey. We packed up the changing bag (and a couple of other bags just in case) full of snacks, clothes, toys etc, hoping to keep the boy entertained not only during the 2 ½ hour journey down, but also during the afternoon.

The journey down was OK. It coincided with his lunchtime nap, so he slept for the first 1 ½ hours, starting to whinge a little as we hit the M25 (not nice at lunchtime on August bank holiday Saturday),  screaming blue murder as we pulled up outside my brothers house. He soon calmed down as we got to the party and he realised how many people there were to smile at.

We got in to the garden and I put the boy down on to a picnic rug. We also put a toy. He seemed happy enough. A little while later another guest came and put her little girl down at the other end of the rug with some of her toys. My boy decided that his toy was now not good enough and proceeded to pull himself to the other end of the rug and take the toy out of the girls hand. Her Mother was gracious about it, and gave her little one something else to play with, which then again led my boy to take it off her. No matter what my little one had to play with it was not as fun as whatever anyone else had. I offered him his favourite things – his talking Woody, Charlie the caterpillar, numerous snacks, his sippy cup – but nothing was good enough.

Is 8 months too early to expect sharing? He doesn’t take these things off other people in a mean way, he just thinks they are more exciting.

I’m hoping he grows out of this sooner rather than later – I don’t think the older children at his new childminders will appreciate having their things taken away from them!

Don’t you just love afternoon naps?

Today was strange. Went to school to pick up the GCSE results (I’m a teacher), and on the way back the little one fell asleep, and had a good 25 minutes. By time we got home he felt refreshed and so didn’t want to go to bed and finish off his lunchtime nap! Instead we had something to eat, played a bit, crawled around the living room, and then by about 2 he was sleepy again. I put him to bed and thought ‘why not’ as I crawled in to my own bed, 30 minutes rest would do me the world of good! Next thing I know it’s 4 PM! Heaven! A good 1 1/2 hours sleep. Both the boy and I felt massively better!

I better not get too used to afternoon naps, I don’t think school will be too impressed if I fall asleep during a lesson next week!!!

IN THE WORDS OF AEROSMITH…

For the last few weeks our son has been threatening to crawl. First of all he got up on his hands and knees – I phoned all my family to tell them “he’s nearly crawling”. There he stayed for a week or so. Then he started to rock on his hands and knees. Cue another round of phone calls “honestly, the next day or two!” Then he started to shuffle…BACKWARDS!

Last weekend I started to worry. I wasn’t worried about whether or not he would crawl, I knew he would, when he was good and ready. I was worried that I would miss it! I start back at work next week, and little one starts with the childminder. So after weeks of trying to crawl I started to panic that he would finally move when he was not with me! I then started to think about all the things I might miss. Crawling, walking, talking, using a potty etc etc etc.

Yesterday, however, my boy started to crawl. Right there, in front of me. When I say crawling it’s a bit more like commando crawling, but he is definitely moving – FORWARDS! Today he’s managed to get quicker. He can get from 1 side of a room to the other in a matter of minutes. He can pull the DVD player off the shelf – oopps, that’ll have to move – and can have the toys he wants without having to wait for me to move him there.

It’s made me realise, maybe I will miss some things, but not everything! Maybe I will miss the first step he takes, but if I do, I will still see the next ones. So OK maybe ‘I don’t want to miss a thing’, but it won’t be the end of the world if I do miss some things!

Are you a worrier?

I hate the thought of leaving my boy for 3 days a week. I hate the thought of someone giving him his lunch, or his bottle, or putting him down for his naps. I hate that someone else will cuddle him if he cries, or cheer him on when he does something exciting. I hate that someone else might see the first time he walks, or tries cheese on toast. I hate the thought of having to read his daily report to see what he’s done that day. Basically I hate the thought of going back to work. But I have to. Simple as that!

But it doesn’t stop me worrying about it. I worry about him making friends, getting on with the childminder, whether he likes the food she gives him, sleeping well for his naps and lots more. I know it’s silly. I’d worry about things if I didn’t go back to work. I’d worry we didn’t have the money to buy him things. I’d worry he wasn’t developing his social skills. I’d worry that he was getting sick of me.

These worries have filled my head during the past few weeks. Today, while looking through some blogs I came across a post by Insomniac Mummy about ‘worrying’. It made a lot of sense to me. It also made me realise that other people worry. It’s nothing to feel ashamed about. Yes I’ll worry about my boy while I go back to work, but hopefully these worries will subside, just in time for me to worry about something else.

Why, as mothers, do we feel the need to worry about everything? Will we always worry? Probably. Does that make me worry some more. Yes!

THE PARENTING ADVENTURES OF MRS C!

My mother-in-law told me that when she went back to work after having her son (my husband) she used to write him poetry. She used to tell him how much she loved him, how much she missed him, how she felt when she wasn’t there and how she felt when she came home. She wrote it all down so she could look back and remember it all and so he could look back and understand.

I go back to work next week after having my son 8 months ago, and I wanted to do something similar, something to help me when I’m no longer at home all the time with him. Unfortunately I can’t write poetry – if you could look at my old English books you’d understand. My husband has been suggesting for ages that I start a blog, and I’ve been putting it off as long as possible, but now I’ve realised that this is the perfect time. It gives me a place to write down all the things I’m going through, hear about how other people have dealt with these things and maybe use my experience (ha ha) as a parent to help/support/encourage other people.

So now you know why I’ve set this blog up I hope you enjoy reading about ‘the parenting adventures of Mrs C!’