My poor little bruiser…

A couple of weeks ago I ended up in A&E with my boy. He fell and hit his hand against the TV table and had a cracking bruise/cut on his head. I wasn’t at the hospital long, and everything was fine, but it gave me a little bit of a panic for a while! Yesterday I turn up to the childminders and as I walk through the door she turns to me and says “don’t panic, but he’s had a little accident”. When a sentance starts with “don’t panic” what is the first thing you do? PANIC!!! I scan the room to look for him, he hears my voice, turns to look at me and I see a huge cut on his face – massive, blood everywhere, bruises all over his face! Obviously, this was what I saw, not what was actually there! He actually had a small cut just by his eye. He was happily playing, smile on his face and the accident had not bothered him in the slightest! It made me feel bad though. I hadn’t been there when he’d hurt himself, I felt like a bad mum! The worst!

 

His poor little face, greeny blue bruise on his forehead from last week and his cut on his eye from yesterday, he looks like a proper little boxer – all this and he’s not even walking yet – that’s when the fun starts, people tell me!!!

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I’m rubbish, I really am…

I don’t know how it’s happened, but my life seems to be completely taken over. I know that having a baby is a full time job, and that it is meant to be all consuming, but I thought I might get some time to myself. And I did – for a while! Then I went back to work, and I managed to carry on for a while. I still managed to read other people’s blogs, comment on them and write my own posts! But now, I’ve just checked my blog and realised that I’ve not written anything since Sept 22nd! Awful! I’m truly rubbish at the blogging malarkey! I want to be better, I really do. And I promise to try.

How do other people manage it though? I wake up at 6ish, just about have time to get myself awake before the little one wakes up. I give him his bottle, and get him changed/dressed. I manage to get myself dressed and try to have something for breakfast while keeping an eye on him (which is increasingly difficult now he’s pulling himself up on things and trying to walk!). I also have to make myself some lunch and sort out the little one’s bottles and lunch to take to the childminders. I usually just about get him to the childminders before 8 (he should be there by 7.30) and get to school just before the bell goes!

By time I get home it’s time for giving the little lad his tea, bath, bottle then to bed. I then tidy the house – which usually looks like the ‘baby baby’ house which Sandy describes as a scene from Home Alone! Cook dinner, eat dinner, mark some work, plan some lessons. Try to have a bath. Then fall in to bed! Where am I supposed to fit in blogging? I try to catch a quick look at other people’s blogs at lunchtime, or during my free periods, but whenever I have a good idea for a comment or a blog post of my own I just run out of time!

I’m only doing this one because I’ve decided that we don’t need dinner today!

Where does the time go?

I’m struggling to keep things going! I just about have time to get to work and sort out the little one. I then have to find time to sort out the house. So I apologise for not getting anything written on here for ages. I promise I will try to keep on it better!

Obviously with all that stuff keeping me busy what do I plan for Saturday? A day at a health spa with my Mum. A worthwhile use of my precious time?!? Totally!!! The boy is staying at home with Daddy, so I have a whole day to spend with my Mum. It’ll be great, I can’t wait. It will be a welcome break. And hopefully I’ll get home to a nice clean/tidy house! I can but dream!

I will post soon to tell you all the story of booking my spa day! Got a little stressful at times. But don’t have the time to go in to it all now!

It’s been a long week

This week has been tiring! Not just because I started teaching again. But it’s just felt like it’s gone on for years.

The little one still seems to be loving his childminder – in fact he seemed very put out on Tuesday and Friday when he was at home. I ended up having to take him out all afternoon on both days because he was getting very bored of just being with me. But oh well, I’m sure that will calm down a bit once he’s got his head around the home days and childminder days, let’s hope so anyway. He still gives me wonderful smiles, hugs and kisses when I pick him so I know he still loves me.

Teaching itself is actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be. I was nervous that the kids would play up, and that I wouldn’t know how to deal with the naughty ones anymore. But do you know what, I think I’m a better teacher at the moment. Not sure if it’s because I feel refreshed – and a lot happier – after having a good break from it, or whether I now have a lot more patience because of living with a small baby. But whatever it is the kids seem to like it, and the lessons seem to be a lot more enjoyable – for me and the students. Let’s hope it continues.

No, I think the reason I feel so shattered is because I’ve felt like I’ve been ‘on duty’ all day every day. My husband has been doing some late nights at work, and I’ve just not felt like I’ve had any time to myself on an evening. I don’t really blame him (I did, but I’ve got over that a bit now). I know he has to work, and I know that he works very hard, but so do I and I feel like I don’t get a break. By time I’ve got to work at 8.30 I’ve already done at least 2 hours work (getting the little one to his childminder on time is no easy job!). Then teach 5 lessons, a extra-curricular activity or meeting, a half an hour drive home to pick up the boy. Then I have 2 hours of feeding, playing, bathing and putting to bed. I’m not complaining – really I’m not. I knew what I was signing up for when having a baby, and the school work is fine. But at 7 PM I’d love to sit down, glass of wine in hand while the hubby (who should be home by now) makes tea and gives me a little break. But NO! Not this week. The little one goes to bed, then I start doing the dishes – from the dinner I made the night before, but was too tired to wash-up (and was hoping the cleaning fairy might do for me) – make dinner, hang out the washing that has been in the machine for at least a day (another job for that fairy), put another load in, eat dinner if I have time, iron clothes for tomorrow and have a quick bath. All while trying to plan my lessons for the next day. I crawl in bed just in time to hear the front door go, by husband come in, eat the dinner I’ve cooked for him and have a ‘well-deserved’ sit down in front of the telly.

OK, so he says that he hates working late. He feels horrid because he knows his putting everything on to me. But would it really hurt to do a little washing up when he came in? Or hang out some washing? Am I being unfair or selfish? Probably, but it’s the way I feel, sorry.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, but that is what has been going on in my head this week! We’ve had a good weekend though – more about that in the next few posts!

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I’m getting a bit more techy. Or I should say my husband is. I have now set up feedburner and you can now subscribe to my blog. If you already have subscribed I would be very grateful if you would do it again via the RSS feed that you can see at the top of my blog. Thanks ever so much.

Boring post, but very important, or so Mr C says…

1 down lots and lots to go!

Today was my first teaching day at school. After the 2 training days yesterday I was very worried about actually teaching a lesson. I couldn’t really remember what I was supposed to be doing.

It went OK! Not too bad. In fact the kids were actually very well behaved, and they were ‘mostly’ a pleasure to teach.

Now I’m knackered! I have a glass of wine in my hand, but struggling to have the energy to drink it. I have a hot bath run, but can’t face walking the short distance to get in it. I just want to go to bed.

Well, day off tomorrow. Quick someone get me the calendar – how many days til half term?

Back to work

So, last Wednesday I went back to work. I was nervous, anxious but a little bit excited (but didn’t really want to admit that!) It all went fine! In fact, I actually enjoyed it, and so did the boy.

I asked my husband if he would go to work a little bit late so he could come to the childminders with me. Good job he did, he pretty much had to prise the little one out of my arms to hand him over to the childminder. I got back in the car and the tears started (I really hand to fight not to start crying in front of the boy). I had a good cry, wiped the mascara from under my eyes, and set off. By time I dropped mu hubby off at the train station it almost felt like it was all back to how it had been before the boy had arrived! Had I really had a baby, had I really been off work for over 9 months? I got to school, walked in to the staff room (which has changed massively, much to my disgust!) got a cup of tea, and I was completely ready to start the working day! Boo!

The only time I really struggled was when I sat down for my lunch. I started to panic. Had he had his nap OK, would he be eating his lunch I’d sent with him, was he missing me? A quick call to the childminder to find out the answers: Yes, yes and – unfortunately – no.

By time I got back from work I really had started to miss him very badly – the half an hour drive home seemed to go on forever. His reaction when he saw me was well worth the torture on the drive home. He gave me the biggest smile, and scrambled to give me a hug. He hadn’t cried all day “is he usually like that” asked the childminder. “YES” I replied with immense pride.

Although I was shattered by time we both got home I had the best few hours with him before putting him to bed. We played, sang, laughed, had a bath together. It was fab. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed myself with him that much for quite a while! Fantastic! He went to bed without any problems – I think he’d worn himself out playing all day – and slept all night. Wonderful.

Thursday was easier to drop him off – he seemed really excited as we walked to the front door, he obviously knew where he was going.

Unfortunately (thanks to the joy of training days) I’ve not actually taught a lesson yet since being back – I think I may have forgotten how! Will let you know how that goes! First one tomorrow!

I’m so glad I’ve decided to go back to work. I think it’s going to be great for both of us. The boy is going to gain so many social skills, he’s going to make friends and have loads of new experiences. And I get to be me again, not ‘just a mum’, even if it’s just for a few hours, 3 days a week. And if it means that me and the little one have that much fun when we are together, then even better!